Useful

Left alone with Sapphire again, Garret cocked his head and just studied her. "Maybe. But... Why didn't you go see Scott? I mean..." He wasn't quite sure what he was asking. It just seemed strange that she would stay here, let alone be concerned about whether or not his name was cleared.

He thought for a moment about John... a brother he didn't even know, and the strange feeling it evoked. "He's your brother," he finally concluded. "Why stay here?"


"Oh." Scott swallowed hard. His fingers fidgeted with Hope's. She seemed... more quiet than normal. Not upset but... almost. "Well it... it wasn't his fault. I... I mean I..." A random slice of data flashed across his vision and he closed his eyes, just leaning his head back. "I feel kinda nauseous..." 

He said little more until Reese and Rick had arrived. JT stood nearby as well, but didn't interfere. Reese stood by the bed, and though unhappy, remained calm for Scott's sake. He was so thin and pale, it was scary. 

"We got your note..." Reese cocked his head. "We, um... figured Garret forced you into it."

Scott was sitting up in bed by now, and bit his lip. "But... but I signed it."

"So... he didn't force you?"

"No. That's why I signed it." Scott rolled his eyes. "I thought you'd believe it."

"Uh... not really." Reese shook his head. "You're telling me that you actually blackmailed him? That you actually threatened to contact the Agency and blow his cover?"

Tears sprang into Scott's eyes. "Yes."

Reese had a hard time controlling his temper. "Care to explain why?"

"Because I know you'd never let me go through with the upgrade and... and Garret was my only way."

"But Scott... You could have died. What ever possessed you?"

"I just... I wanted to be useful." A tear trickled down Scott's cheek. "Everybody kept telling me I was fine the way I was but... but I wasn't. And... I just wanted to help. With just one thing, that's all. Then... if I died, at least I woulda done something good."

Rick shook his head and turned to leave, unable to take it. JT watched him go, them followed him out into the hall to make sure everything was alright. 

Reese looked at Scott with pity, just shaking his head. "I could have sent Garret to prison for that stunt," he reprimanded softly. 

"I wouldn't have really contacted the Agency..." Scott sniffed. "I just... I knew Garret wouldn't be able to refuse if I told him I would."

"I'm sorry you felt like you had to do that."

"Did I at least help? With Carson?"

Reese sighed. "Yeah. But... it wasn't worth the risk."

"If you were me... lost... and unable to function... you wouldn't say that." Scott bit his lip as more tears came. "You have no idea what it's like to... to feel helpless and useless. I just wanted to do one last brave thing. I wasn't meant to survive."

Reese had a hard time holding in his own emotions now, and knew this visit was over. He looked to Hope apologetically. "I think he needs you more than anyone." If Scott had a death wish, then Hope really was who he needed... in more ways than one. 

Alone with Hope once again, Scott stared up at the ceiling and swiped at his eyes. "It wasn't supposed to happen this way... I just wanted to do something other than cower in a corner and run away from my nightmares. Can you really blame me?"