Genius

Carson reached out to cradle Misty's cheek, his thumb gently caressing her skin. "I would hold you twenty-four/seven if it would help." He didn't want to give her his illness, but by now if she was going to get it, she would already. Leaning in close, he placed a tender kiss on her lips, which he let linger for just a few moments, gently proving his care. 

Retreating, his eyes were still sleepy, but he smiled anyway. "And I would love for you to come help with the house. It's no fun doing it alone." He had more to say...more to ask. But...for now, he'd rather just enjoy tonight without rehashing anything else. The time for more talks would come. 

Shifting around again, he snuggled up next to her and put his head on her shoulder, sighing and letting his eyes fall shut again. Tomorrow... tomorrow he'd feel better. His fingers locked with hers as he gave her hand a squeeze. This was right where he belonged.


Clint grinned and nodded. "Alright then. I'm game if you are. Two heads are better than one, right? Or in my case, better than half a one." 

Grease. Dirt. More grease. Oil. More dirt. And cranked up music. Even though the tractor was throwing them fits, Clint actually had fun... which he hadn't had in this garage for a very long time. Laughing and cracking jokes with Ryan broke the ice, and he was truly impressed by how much she knew and how good she was at working on engines. He told her about his family and a little of his history at the ranch, but talk mostly revolved around cars, bikes and tractors. 

"Aha...here you are." Hunter grinned as he wandered over to them both, his smile widening when he saw Ryan up to her elbows in work. He took off his gloves and stuffed them in his back pocket after having been helping Eric with some of the horses, cleaning stalls, and planning to ride this afternoon. 

Clint poked his head around the tractor, grease smudges on his face. "Hey hey. Why didn't you bring this genius with you sooner? Could have saved me a lot of headaches." 

Hunter chuckled and leaned on one of the tires and he looked at Ryan. "I just wondered if you were hungry for lunch, that's all. A little bird told me there were sandwiches in the main house and I, for one, am starving." 


Scott woke with a start. His nostrils picked up the scent of food. Noise came from down the hall. Someone was in his house. His blood ran cold. Where was Domino and why hadn't she alerted him?

Slowly getting out of bed, he didn't even realize he'd slept in yesterday's clothes. Grabbing his gun from his nightstand drawer, he checked it, then padded into the hallway. He heard sizzling and the sound of dishes. Turning the corner quickly, he held out his gun and took aim.

Justin, standing at the stove, didn't flinch. "You might wanna put that away," he advised. Taking a little piece of freshly cooked bacon, he tossed it to Domino who was very content "helping" him with breakfast.

Scott thought his heart might beat out of his chest as he lowered his gun. "What the heck are you doing here, and why didn't you tell me you were coming?"

"Spur of the moment idea, I guess." Justin turned off the burners. He'd fixed some lean bacon, scrambled some egg whites and had whole wheat toast waiting. "Come on. It's time for breakfast."

"I'm not hungry."

Justin grabbed some plates from the cupboard. "Eat anyway or I'll shove it down your throat."

Scott rolled his eyes, but obeyed. It wasn't worth the fight. He chose a small portion of eggs and one piece of toast, but when he'd turned to go to the table, Justin had given him another half piece of toast and a slice of bacon. He just kept walking and sat at the table.

The room was quiet for a while. Justin simply observed Scott eating - which was so slow, it was almost painful to watch. "How's your stomach?"

That hadn't been the first question Scott expected, and he raised an eyebrow skeptically. "Same as always..."

"Which is?"

"It likes to sit right on the edge of nauseous most of the time." Scott shrugged. Rick had told him it was probably something he'd always have to deal with - at least for a long time. It was a mix of physical trauma after being so malnourished for so long, and a mental condition.

"Take anything for it?"

"Sometimes."

Justin pointed to the eggs that had hardly been touched. "I'm not leaving 'til those are gone."

"Why?"

"Because you didn't eat supper last night."

"How do you know?"

"Because I know you."

Scott sighed. "You're as bad as Dalton."

"I'll take that as a compliment." Justin sat back in his chair and toyed with his water glass. The table fell quiet again until Scott had finally finished most of his food and Justin was satisfied. "Can we talk about our last meeting?"

Scott's gaze fell and he slouched in his seat. "I'd rather not, but that's never stopped you before."

Justin grinned a little. "You left the park before I had a chance to respond to you, and what I wanted to say was this... Your choice. But not your fault. And not your burden. The longer you think it's all on your own shoulders, the heavier it's going to get, and you'll never get out from under it. I want you to understand that every day from here on out, you're to tell yourself that it's not your fault. It's the Agency's fault. And it's not your burden - it's all our burden, which we share willingly because we care about you."

Scott bit his lip, keeping his eyes down. Domino put her paws up on his lap, and he scratched her head automatically.

Justin continued. "It is not your fault that bomb went off. It is not your fault the Agency kidnapped you. It is not your fault they tortured you. It is not your fault they hurt you that badly. It is not your fault you were kept for so long or that things and people changed while you were away. It is not your fault you had to go to Brookshire. It is not your fault you struggle on a daily basis." He paused, hoping some of his words would sink in. "The only thing that's your fault is your never-ending attempt to go it alone. You have a bad habit of pushing people away and not letting them help. And all that's doing is tearing you down further, bit by bit."

Scott was tired of crying, but the tears came anyway. "But when they try to help, they hurt too," he whimpered.

"And to help you...is their choice, not yours. If Hope's heart hurts to see you like this, it's still her own choice to try and help. She could walk away any time she wants - you're not forcing her to stick around. That - is on her own shoulders. Her decision. Her choice."

It sounded almost too much like what Garret had told him right before the upgrade. Scott swallowed hard. "I'm not worth it," he whispered.

"Bull crap." Justin lowered himself across the table until he could see Scott's downcast gaze. "If you've still got breath, you're worth it. To say otherwise is to tell God He made a mistake creating you, and I know you're not about to challenge Him."

Scott swiped a tear away. "But I used to be so...strong and confident." A memory flashed through his mind of holding Katie in his arms. She'd helped him out of his shell. Helped him find that confidence. He'd been on cloud nine, so sure of life that he'd even proposed. Yet that man...didn't even exist anymore. "I'm not...who I used to be."

"No, you're not. And you never will be. He died when that bomb went off. But you..." Justin pointed directly at him, just a little sternly. "You can be whoever you want to be." A new thought suddenly struck him - forcibly. "And you're holding yourself back because you're afraid no one will like the new you."

His words sent a pang to Scott's heart and he glanced up at him. He'd never considered that before but...all of a sudden, he realized Justin was right. Justin had read through the fog to find one of his deepest fears. He really was afraid no one would like him now, with all of his issues.

Justin searched his gaze, thankful that he'd finally landed on something substantial. "You need to stop looking at who Scott Johnson was, and figure out who he is today...and then get used to it. Because who you are is talented, smart, and so much more useful than just a piece of technology to plug in for risky upgrades."

Scott's shoulders sank even more. "But no one would let me-"

"Because you're too important to them. They value you so much more than Agency intel, and whether you like it or not, that's not going to change. Accept it. They love you. As a friend. As a brother. And as more than all that, if you ask Hope."

Scott sniffed. "I've put her through the wringer... over... and over... I just can't-"

"The only thing that's put her through the wringer is you pushing her away." Justin sat back again and shook his head. "She can handle your PTSD. Your nightmares. Your eating disorder. Your tiredness. Your fears. What she can't handle is you constantly keeping her at arm's length."

"But...what if I don't love her like she wants me to?"

Justin stopped for a moment. "Is that true?"

Scott was silent.

"If that's true, then you're a better liar than I gave you credit for."

Scott chewed on his lip. "I...I don't think it's true," he whispered. "I mean, I... it just... I-I-I don't know how I feel about anything anymore. If I don't even know who I am, how can... how can I love someone else?"

Justin pursed his lips and nodded slowly. "And that's why you need to figure out who you are and learn to be at peace with that. Because only then will you be able to figure out how you feel about other people...including Hope." 


Gunner sat in the corner of the commons room with his feet up on the couch, nestled in against the armrest with his head bent and his hands tucked into his hoodie pockets. It... hadn't been a good morning. He'd fought with his assigned counselor, he didn't want to eat, and the medication they were trying this time had made his dark thoughts even darker. 

He glanced up as a nurse walked by, then resumed his stare at the couch cushion. He wasn't supposed to be allowed to be in his bare feet, but they'd given up trying to enforce that rule with him. His gaze wandered to the far door that led into the hallway that led to the front desk that led to the entrance. He hadn't seen Bree yesterday. Would he see her today? He knew it was a long drive. He'd never ask her to come. He didn't like her seeing him like this anyway. But...he was lonely and miserable.