Punishment

“Okay, good. And thank you.” Sparky moved to help Faith finish getting lunch ready. “I think he could use some encouragement.” 

It didn’t take long to have the simple lunch ready and be seated at the kitchen table, and after prayer and a little small talk, Sparky decided to prompt Dylan a little. “So...getting along with Travis?” 

Dylan chewed a bite of his sandwich and shrugged. “He’s okay I guess.” 

Sore spot? Sparky couldn’t tell. “Looks like he and Ashlee are becoming friends.” 

“Uh-huh.” Dylan’s eyes dropped to his plate. 

Sparky glanced at Faith. Could she see the same signs he was seeing? “That...bother you?” 

“Why should it?” Dylan glanced up again and took another bite of sandwich. 
 
“I don’t know. Thought maybe you kinda liked Ashlee.” 

“Oh.” 

“You don’t?” 

Dylan shrugged again. “What would it matter?” He took a sip of water and just fiddled with the glass.

Sparky paused his eating to fold his hands and grin. “Well if you like her, it might matter a little bit. I suppose if it were me, I might feel like Travis was sort of...stepping into my territory?” 

A little color came to Dylan’s face, and he didn’t respond.

Sparky cocked his head. “I know things were rough there once or twice but...it’s okay to like her, ya know.” “No it’s not.” Dylan picked at the crust on his sandwich, keeping his eyes down. 

“Well why not?” When Dylan didn’t answer him, Sparky sighed. He gave Faith a sorry kind of look. He knew now what Dylan was saying, and felt badly for the boy. “Look, I know there have been past mistakes. And I know you might be scared that you might repeat them but...you’re different now. You’ve got a good head on your shoulders and I know you can be trusted.” 

Dylan could feel the heat in his face now, and hated it, but he didn’t leave. Sparky and Faith were really the only ones he’d talk to about this kind of thing. He picked up a potato chip to nibble on. He was glad Sparky

trusted him but...he wasn’t so sure he trusted himself. He’d done a lot of things he wasn’t proud of...what if old habits came back? “How can...you be so sure?” 

Sparky shrugged. “I just can. I have faith in you. We all do.” 

“I don’t... I don’t deserve that. I don’t...deserve any of this.” 

“Well none of us really do,” Sparky reasoned. “None of us are perfect.” 

“Yeah but...” 

Sparky waited. “But what?” 

“I just...” Dylan gave up on the potato chip, and leaned back to slouch in his chair, still keeping his eyes lowered. “You all belong here. Me, I’m just... here to... “ 

Sparky furrowed his brow, trying to figure out what he was trying to say. “Here to...what?” “Pay.”
The pieces were starting to fall together, and the picture broke Sparky’s heart. “Are you saying that you’re here at this ranch just to pay for your mistakes?” 

Dylan ran his finger over a little notch in the table and finally nodded. 

Sparky sighed. “You can’t keep punishing yourself for the past, Dylan. That’s no way to live. It’s over, done, you’ve been forgiven and now...it’s time to move on.” 

Dylan still wasn’t convinced. “But I don’t deserve that.” 

“That’s why it’s called grace. None of us deserve it.” Sparky’s hand slid over to take Faith’s and his thumb ran over her fingers. He didn’t know how to convince Dylan of the truth. “We weren’t meant to live in misery, no matter what our mistakes have been. You’ve changed, you’ve made up your mind not to go back, and now you need to move forward.” He paused, just letting his words sink in. “Is that why you’ve been so unhappy? Because you think you don’t deserve happiness?” 

Dylan’s shrug was an answer in itself. 

Sparky shook his head. “You deserve happiness as much as the next person. We’ve all screwed up. But living in that same spot just makes us more miserable. Do you want to be here? At the ranch?”
Dylan swallowed hard, but managed a nod. 

“Then enjoy it. Stop punishing yourself,” he repeated. “The time for punishment has passed. Now it’s time to live. Whether that means liking a girl, riding horses, listening to your favorite music, or spending time with family. It’s okay to want to be alone...but not if it’s just because you think you don’t deserve to be with people that make you happy.” 

Dylan struggled to keep his emotions under control, and opted to take another bite of his sandwich before finally nodding. There was a long pause before he dared look up again, his gaze shifting over to Faith. “Thank you for lunch,” he thanked her softly. “I really like your sandwiches.” 

Aaron sighed and shook his head. “Yes, this is more comfortable, and I don’t care whether you stay or not. But I didn’t mean here, here... I meant here...with the Elite. Why are you working for them? Why take a job to be the handler of someone from the Agency?” 

He studied Sam’s face, trying to read her. “There’s gotta be some better job than this.” 

Ryder chuckled and put his arm around Thirteen before giving the top of her head a kiss. “Mm...I don’t have to go anywhere until tomorrow afternoon. Film crew is gonna be at the zoo. They wanna check things out for a possible filming of croc handling.” 

He sank down a little further in the couch. “So that means there’s no reason for me to go to bed yet...which means I get to stay here with you as long as you want.” 

“Awesome.” Travis’ smile widened. “You think anyone would mind if I found a saddle that fit me, too?” “Not a bit.”

Travis looked up quickly as Mick walked by. “Oh, thanks. Anything I should or shouldn’t touch?”
“Naw.” Mick shook his head. “You’re good. Ashlee knows where everything is.” He looked down at Ashlee and winked before moving on. “You might try getting Casper from the back pasture,” he concluded over his shoulder. The gray gelding’s personality was perfect for the novice rider, or a rider who needed to take it easy. 

“Casper?” Travis quirked an eyebrow at Ashlee. “Sounds like a ghost, not a horse.”